I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I need a burrito and a hug.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
We smell like vodka and hangover
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