she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
