Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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