Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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