it hurts more in the daytime
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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