Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
