Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
