You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
