Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
