Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
