That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize