it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
