how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Bring me that man meat
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
