insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
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