We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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