I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
