we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize