therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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