I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize