Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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