oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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