one two three fourrrrnication!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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