one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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