PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My vagina is very pro this idea
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
