i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
