i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
