he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
