Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
