the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
