CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
