It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
