She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
