can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
