shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
