I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
