she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
