Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
