waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This baby is an asshole
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
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