I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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