Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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