Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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