I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize