fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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