I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
