I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
