i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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