At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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