so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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