dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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