Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
