We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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