I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
