I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
