..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
