it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize