yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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