Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
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she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
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I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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